Hyperbole

I've lost track of myself again.

I've done this before -- I can't seem to learn this lesson.
After months of ignoring myself, of working 16 hour days, of giving my non-work time to my family (mostly my son), I've lost track of myself. The 16 hour work days are over now -- but I'm still in the rut. This has gone on for far too long now -- and now I'm overthinking the whole process.

I need to remember how to just "be" again.

What do I want to do for my birthday? Want? What is want?

And yet, because of my lack of self-care, in a pinch I act with extreme selfishness -- an unconscious reflection of my inattention to my unconscious.

What's worse, in this time I have buried my innate compassion with cynicism, pessimism, and despair. Maybe I should write an entry on all the things I think are fucked up about this country. Maybe if I just get it all off my chest I'd stop sitting on my hands and start doing something about it.

Maybe someday I'll find my way back to the work of tikkun olam -- the repair of the world. Maybe I should first rake the leaves in my own backyard...