Hyperbole

...or "Allow myself to TrackBack...myself."

Almost a year and a half ago I wrote this post. I'm writing now to tell you that my aphoristic statement still holds: Raising three children is much like raising two, except there is one more of them. To me, having the one more makes it infinitely more rewarding; but it really isn't any harder, at least not so far. Sometimes it can be a slightly harder, especially because they are so close in age. (Consider the logistics of taking all three to a highway rest area bathroom so one of them can use the facilities.) But that same issue makes it easier sometimes, since they are better playmates for it.

So if you have two children, don't be afraid of another, it really is quite wonderful.

(This is the part where someone asks me when we're having our next child. We're done, thanks, we've hit the target. :)

Nods to David Seruyange for reminding me of this post.

Posted by gefilte at 10:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Here it is, the promised articulation that struck me a few days ago on the subject of having three children. (Parents or potential parents of multiples note, this probably doesn't apply to you):

1. One child is hard. Very hard. Raising even one child (or at least, doing it right) requires enormous dedication, suspension or deferment of many goals and aspirations, and huge, heaping volumes of patience. It is worth every loving moment, but should not be entered into lightly.
2. Two children is immensely harder than one child. With one child, you can focus your undivided attention on him (in my case, first is a boy, so you will please suffer the pronoun), pour all your energy into him and let none of his thoughts or sayings slip through your proverbial mental cracks. With two children, you must divide your attention between them somehow. You must keep the older from maiming the younger (in misguided attempts at affection.) You should listen to all they both have to say, and play with both of them, even on the days when they want to play in totally different rooms. Sometimes, one or the other will say something that does slip through the cracks, and you must deal with the consequences of that. Even more patience is required, but now balance, and also an aura of justice and consistency that both kids must perceive clearly (whether it works in their favor or not.) Raising two kids is really, really hard: if you felt like you were in over your head with one kid, stop now and raise him as best you can. But if parenthood sits just right with you, and you feel your heart aching to love even more, bring another one home. If that still doesn't satiate the aching in your heart, then...
3. Three children. It's everything I said about two children, only there's one more. That's it. Really, that's it. At least, so far that's it. But having had two children, very different from each other and yet fitting together as a family system, it isn't hard to project with some clarity into the future how things will go. And the future looks a little like the past, only better because there's one more of them to love (and to be loved by.)

I suspect that four is probably a lot like three, only with one more. I think the one->two transition was the real test of Parenthoodability™. It was enormously difficult – and singularly rewarding – so much so that my dear wife and I felt compelled to do it again.

Posted by gefilte at 11:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

File this under "conversations you never thought you'd have with your preschooler."

Context: I gave my son (or DS, if you insist) a kiss on the head, but he didn't want it. (He's a preschooler – they can be so fickle.) So he said "suck it back out". I've heard my wife and him play this game before, so I made a sucking noise and said, "there, I sucked it out." He laughed and exclaimed, "you suck differently than Mommy! You should suck like Mommy does!"
What could I say, other than, "Yes, I do suck differently than Mommy. That's just the way it is." This actually went back-and-forth a few times, and I did everything I could to keep from laughing hysterically.

Now I can't decide what is funnier: this conversation, or the many, many conversations surrounding the character from the Toy Story movies, "Woody". (He has several "Woody" toys, of varying sizes. Consider these past gems: "I have the big Woody now!", "Where is my little Woody?", "Can I bring Woody with me?", ad infinitum.)

Posted by gefilte at 03:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Meant to post this last night... last night while I was home alone with the kids, out in the living room wandering through a Wikipedia rabbit hole, my daughter started talking in her sleep. She calls out "daddy, daddy!" in a somber voice. I run in and find her fast asleep. She talks some more, but doesn't awaken. When she finally stops, my son (sleeping in a different room) starts talking in his sleep. I peek my head in; he's also fast asleep, and continues to talk on-and-off for another five minutes.

So my kids are possessed. Or perhaps they're just like my wife and I (both of us have been told by former roommates that we talk in our sleep, though we've seldom heard each other.)

Posted by gefilte at 07:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Most of you know already my son is only three years old...

A week ago, my son "moved out" of our bedroom into his own room. He has been sleeping in our bedroom since he was born, though he has been in his own bed since he was nineteen months. It's been a week now, and he has not "bounced back" at all. Not even once. He comes to visit in the morning to cuddle (I understand some kids do this until they're teenagers, so this isn't unusual), but that's it. He was truly ready, it was the right time, there was no need for him to bounce back. Be that as it may, I can't help but be amazed and proud of him – he's growing up to be such a great kid!

Posted by gefilte at 09:51 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

They should take away my parenthood license this week. Wednesday I was horsing around with my son and I thought I broke his wrist! He was in so much pain, I called my wife back (she was on her way to an appointment) and we took him to the ER. At some point while we were waiting in the ER waiting room, he was suddenly remarkably better. Basically, he seemed like he was in no pain at all. Turns out he had "Nursemaid's Elbow" (see about.com entry or just google it), which is common and is remedied simply by popping the elbow back in place (which he must have done himself!) But it gets better! While we were in the waiting room, my son was playing quietly by himself and I was watching our daughter, she fell down and started bleeding from her mouth! What had I done! Turns out, she just bit her lip – the bleeding stopped in less than a minute. But by that point I was thinking that it was time to suspend my license...

Posted by gefilte at 03:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I've been a parent for three years now, and it's been one of the most rewarding parts of my life. It's hard to believe now that he's three, but here we are. He is truly a light – loving to his parents and his little sister, polite, well-behaved in public, articulate, and most surprisingly of all reasonable. He can be reasoned out of almost any misbehavior or meltdown. What's more, he's able to articulate clearly to us what he's trying to do when he "misbehaves" and why he's troubled when he "melts down." I never knew this could happen by three (really, by two-and-one-half for him) but I thank God every day that my son is this kind of kid. I hope things turn out as well with my daughter – I guess the chances are good since she has the same parents...

Posted by gefilte at 01:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My baby turned one Friday, and we had her party yesterday. It's hard to believe she's not a baby any more – though I'm not eager to start now, I don't think we're done growing our family yet.
The party was great – a decent turnout, though several "expecteds" did not show. As a result, friend actually outnumbered extended family, which made for a much more relaxed atmosphere. And there were lots of kids. (And this wasn't even the kids party – that's next week at my son's birthday party!) So much so that shortly after my brother arrived he came to me with a wide-eyed, nervous look and said, "There's a lot of kids here!" I was amused...

Party season will be over soon. As much as I am looking forward to my son's birthday party, I am ready for party season to end. Let's recap:

1. Department Christmas party


2. Friends' Christmas party (yes, I know I didn't really attend this one – the spirit was willing though!)


3. Christmas in Arizona


4. Christmas Part II/New Years


5. Daughter's birthday

and coming up:

6. Company annual post-holiday party (Friday)


7. Son's birthday (next Saturday)


8. Nephew's birthday (next Sunday)

Are we through yet? Fortunately or unfortunately, not until next week. <sigh/>

Posted by gefilte at 09:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Last night Jannean and I took our daughter to the emergency room. She wasn't responding to the breathing treatments as well as we had hoped, and after giving four of them to her over the course of the night it was time to seek help. We could hear on the drive over though that her condition was improving rapidly as the medicine was finally taking hold. When we got there, the triage nurse took her vitals and determined she was not in any danger, so rather than wait eight hours ('tis the season, after all) to see a doctor we went home and went to bed.

Breathing is something I have always taken for granted. I'm beginning to learn that it is not always as easy as I once believed. We are breathing a lot calmer now (daughter is on the mend.) But I have a lot more to learn about breathing...

Posted by gefilte at 08:55 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I suppose it's not that big a deal that my wife blogged our daughter's birth before I did. The more surprising thing is that my brother blogged it before my wife did!

SO without further ado, let me introduce my daughter Jadyn, born January 6 at 8.15 weighing 8 lbs. 5 oz. and measuring 19.5 in long.

So here she is:

Posted by gefilte at 10:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by gefilte at 09:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

On January 6 El Segundo will arrive. Like my wife I find this to be very queer knowing exactly what day we will have our baby -- are we having a baby or just having my wife's appendix out? We're going to go to the hospital, get ready, and then they take the baby out -- that's it. No expectant waiting, no excited uncertainty.

It just feels weird.

Posted by gefilte at 12:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My son eats peas for breakfast. Often. Not because I think it's a good idea -- he asks for them specifically. Today he started with a bowl of cereal and milk, but eventually progressed to the peas. No father in his right mind would discourage his child from eating MORE vegetables...

Posted by gefilte at 08:13 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Yes, you read that right... if you haven't heard already, baby number two is on the way. How's this for good family planning: the due date is January 13 -- one day before Caleb's second birthday. Just keeping life interesting...

Posted by gefilte at 08:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by gefilte at 06:56 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Posted by gefilte at 07:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)